Doppelganger (version iii)
*sorry for the clickbait main title lol
Nearing the end of 2017, I seem to have finally found myself. Content. Having found peace. Peace is found not only by understanding yourself, but also the people around you. Your surroundings are what shape you, and if you don't try to understand your surroundings, or the people surrounding you, or right next to you, you will never really find true peace of mind.
As a personal thought, I think without me really realizing it, I have always been a bit ambitious. Not in the sense of over working myself (which I might do as well sometimes) but the fact that I have this drive to become who I wanna be. To be honest, Landscape Architecture has been in the back of my mind since High School, but we'll get back to that later. This ambitiousness comes at a cost though. Because I love doing what I do, it results in me only enjoying my time in working, and neglecting the time others have put into the work that I have done. May it be the meetings, assessment of the work, or finalizing the work. I have always done things under my own time, and forgetting the time others put in, because in a way no work is truly individual work.
I have never thought of myself as being selfish, or egoistic. But in my current reflection of my past state is that I have been an egoist. One can have a reasoning as to why he has been egoist for the past 26 years, but again will not get into that point. To me though, these words sound a bit too negative, and I tend to put my brain in a positive or optimist point of view (unless you're about to shove liver down my throat, then all the sh"t will come out). But yeah, I guess my point of view on life, at least for now, as Doppelganger version not sure how many (been writing about life changes since 2010 I guess after watching the brilliant HIMYM S05E24 episode properly entitled Doppelgangers) is this:
1. I am an optimist.
2. But sometimes optimists act as catalysts.
3. Because I am an optimist, thinking about the future excites me, which might also make me a futurist.
4. But thinking about the future, however far or close, is frightening.
5. So current state of mind is optimistic and futuristic.
6. I just feel that I want to shield my mind from negativity, to be able to push myself forward.
7. But still, bad thoughts will always be there, just need to find the perfect output.
Well. 7 thoughts in 27. 727, There is no Boeing 727, is there?
2017.12.07, BK-City, TU Delft
A. S. Ahtar
a self proclaimed (but also input from friends) INFJ like Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) and Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Bachelor of Science in Architecture, to be Graduate of Landscape Architecture, and forever proud Indonesian amateur golfer, photographer, and videographer.